HANG GLIDING-HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever :
Stuffed 2 battons in 1 pocket?
Mounted your vario upside down and not noticed 'til you were flying?
Critiqued another pilots landing then really whacked yours?
Thrown up in a full helmet?
Gotten a splinter from your TRX?
Seen Bill Bennett dressed up as a Rastafarian ?
Joined the Church of Whats Happening Now ?
Fire jumped naked at Hyner?
Had a bottle rocket burn a hole in your sail?
Seen Denis Pagen's tattoo?
Had an RC sailplane hit your glider and put a hole in the sail?
Seen Tad's logbook?
Had to land because of diareah?
Had your PTT switch stick and everyone hear you talk to yourself?
Flown over Camp David and been arrested ?
Seen the Northern lights at Hyner?
Had a "safety meeting " with the E team?
Landed in a feild with an angry bull?
Had skunks come and check out your glider?
Seen the "reflecting pool" at Hyner launch?
Lost your glider bag in flight and watched it go XC ?
Landed in a fresh cow pie ?
Shared a motel room with Kevin Madden ?
Trusted a complete stranger to drive your car to the LZ ?
Blown a launch and landed on a refrigerater ?
Been stopped for speeding by a cop who turned out to be a hang glider pilot?
Found your glider covered with Balloon Spiders when you landed ?
Seen a cloud of Cottonwood seeds at 6000 ft. ?
Seen a McDonalds bag in a thermal?
Found somebody's flight log in an outhouse ?
Landed your Duck in a creek ?
Had ants make a nest in your glider ?
Put a dead snake in another pilots harness ?
Found a dead snake in YOUR harness?
Spent a night in jail so you could join the Green Team?
Sold your old glider to your husband?
Named your cat after a glider?
Named your dog something like "Sky" or "Cloud"?
Taken your dog tandem and had it pee on you?
Had a dog pee on your glider?
Proposed to your tandem passenger during a flight?
Gotten married at a flying sight?
Left early because of a family obligation and had to listen to the other pilots on the radio specking out most of the way home?
Driven a hundred miles with no windsheild to go flying?
Gotten an erection while flying?
Heard John Middleton talk to his glider?
Used duct tape to hold your glider to the rack?
Taken a crap in the woods near launch and had a glider fly over and yell at you?
Installed a safe edge downtube downtube with the rubber forward?